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next semester, are ya? You know that? Steve Urkel: Uh no. This isn't right Weasel. Harriette Winslow: So how're things back home? Carl: I just had the worst day of my entire life. Allison: Look, we're just having a little harmless fun. Now, I may have taken a sip of my mom's coffee, but I Chain: I'm talkin' about the other kind of wired! I told the janitor about our little problem here. Harriette Winslow: Laura, did somebody do something to you? Carl: Typical. Ms. Steuben: But here you are. Steve could've been killed. Please, my little Rapunzel. Weasel: [Eddie leaves and Weasel gets hit by Waldo] What was that for? Waldo Geraldo Faldo: over and over and over. It's to another restaurant. Laura: She didn't need a hairstylist, she needs a fairy godmother! Curtis: My whole family is flying out to Washington for the funeral, Laura: Can you wait a day, of course you can't. Why would somebody do this to me?' Harriette Winslow: Well, Eddie said something came up, but he promised he'd empty the trash tomorrow. Seems I'm having all the luck. Will you marry me? Cassie Lynn: All's fair in love and politics. Harriette Winslow: Carl, those are my personal and private thoughts. Steven Quincy Urkel: Gee, I don't know, the speedometer only goes to thirty. We're getting dirty looks from old people! A heart that hurts. And what about the car show last Saturday? Addeddate 2019-09-04 04:56:23 Identifier steveurkel_201909 Scanner Internet Archive HTML5 Uploader 1.6.4. plus-circle Add Review. Steve Urkel: By any chance, is that something you enjoy? You trifled with my emotions! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Yeah, I went to sleep and Stevil made a guest appearance. The Its PurpL logo features the young mug of White as Steve Urkel, with his signature Coke-bottle spectacles and high-top fade haircut that blends into a purple haze riding above the floating. Edward 'Eddie' Winslow: The party doesn't start until 9 and my curfew's at 10. I got a nosebleed at birth. Laura: Waldo, what's with Steve, he's acting wierd, even for him! Laura: Sure. [music abruptly stops] Look at yourselves. Ha ha! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Dad, cash is so impersonal. Laura: Steve, did you eat that moldy cheese? Carl Otis Winslow: Oh nothing, never mind! Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: That's hotties, Steve. You had an accident. Robbins: Hey everyone, Laura Winslow's date is Steve Urkel. Harriette Winslow: Is this your snowmobile? [strikes a pose] Laura? Clean up your room Edward. Dexter Thornhill: [after being found guilty at Urkel's trial] Darn you Urkel, Darn you to Heck! I just wanted to make things better but I ended up making them worse! And the reason it hurts is because I've tried very hard to be your friend and all you've done is take advantage of me. And to top it all off you gave me an old card that I already have. Waldo: I can't talk to girls. Eddie: No, grandma. Steve Urkel: I've taken a vow of chastity. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well why aren't you? Eddo. Some of our pickup lines are just for laughs. Steve Urkel: Hey, you gotta get up if want to get dow oh [guests scream as Steve falls off the edge of the roof]. Dadadadada! I'll be in all the videos. Stefan and Myra of left stunned]. Laura Lee Winslow: [crying] Steve why do you always say things like that? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Tries to hold Eddie from pounding their friends] Eddo. It is always tomorrow with that boy. Judy Winslow: Brussels sprouts make me wanna puke. Didn't you? He breaks something a beaker along the way]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Well, what are you waiting for? Boyd broke my glasses. So, what's cookin', good lookin'? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [about Harriette's gingerbread house] This is a work of art. First of all, this is not a real date. Laura: Well, then not even in your dreams. Second, no one must ever know about this "non-date". Harriette: Judy, finish your Brussels sprouts. No. Darnell Watkins: [about Carl] This guy's about invisible. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: This diary belongs to Harriette and I will not violate her privacy. [opens fire at Urkelbot who catches all the rounds in his hand], Urkelbot: [Urkelbot walks up to the robber and drops the bullets on the floor before lifting the robber off the floor with one hand], Urkelbot: [Terminator Impression] Hasta la vista, baby! Did you think of me while you guys were camping? Harriette Winslow: What's the matter, not feeling well? Big guys have never played keep away with your hat on a cold day. Steve Urkel: Why, of course it can! I know how you feel about Laura. Laura Lee Winslow: Grandma, you're not old. You're my friend. Remember last year when she bought that date with the retired underwear model. And then there was the time we went camping and we were in dyer need of a generator and we just plugged the toaster into Uncle Elijah and the Pop Tarts were flying. I only got the date wrong on one flyer. Laura: There's an Urkel in our defense department? I mean, I'm a fast runner, Eddie, but sooner or later, you just gotta stop running. Steve Urkel: Why, come back here, you little hussy! Eddie: Man, I don't have time to study. Harriette Winslow: Carl I am not a weak, wimpy woman whose afraida to speak her mind. But, you're a teacher, Ms. Steuben, and a daaarrn good one. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll show him. Steve Urkel: [Talking to Eddie and his girlfriend] You heard her, you're all witnesses. Laura Lee Winslow: No, it's a work of Harriette, get it, Art, Harriette? Harriette Winslow: Did I embarrass you, Carl? [someone has just smashed into Lt. Murtaugh's classic car]. Carl: Rachel, Carl was my great grandfather's name and there is no way that I'm gonna change it. Ms. Steuben: Well, I guess he's changed a little. I'm cooking breakfast. Lionel: Really? Edward 'Eddie' James Arthur Winslow: Failure to signal. Some Sorry looking roses that are 3 hours away from potpourri. Laura Lee Winslow: It was just a little practical joke. Laura: Steve, I know it's a lot to ask, but I'd really appreciate it if you'd tutor Todd. Laura: [running in] Guess what? We'll start with a common Korean phrase. It was the most terrifying five minutes of my life, second only to watching Lord of the Dance! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Then, you'll need a wide-angle lense. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: You all right, Mr.W, [he teaches Carl how to handshake in his neighborhood. "Smile, if you want to have sex with me." 4. Steve Urkel: I can't! I never got less than than an A. Steve Urkel: So, I can't live with that! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: That's one month longer than they taught it to me. [after Carl comes out of the busted transformation chamber in an Urkel like fashion, due to Myra's tampering]. [picks up a single serving container of gross looking food in the cafeteria]. [Eddie, Clarence and Steve are arrested by the police for theft.]. Web. Steve Urkel: [collecting] Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Harriette Winslow: No, you don't have to remind me of nothing. Laura: Urkel, don't your parents feed you? College Problems Student Problems Steve Urkel: [Runs across the couch to get away] Fine, fine, fine! urkel-steve. That wasn't a rock video. Carl: Maybe you can even resurrect your band. You think it's funny to spike somebody's punch and watch them act like a fool. Eddie has lied . Ms. Steuben: [after seeing Waldo's assignment] Waldo, this is superior work. Carl Otis Winslow: Society places too much emphasis on being thin. Stefan Urkelle: Good lord, you're a nerd. Did I do that? We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. Steve Urkel: Don't feel bad. Steve Urkel: Could. Steve Urkel: [last lines of the series] Do I get a welcome home kiss? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: State your name. Steve Urkel: How tough am I? Laura: That you'll never go into outer space again, Steve Urkel: Only when we kiss, Laura Lee, only when we kiss [they passionately kiss]. I don't *ever* want to work for you again. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Ooh, that's nice! Rachel Crawford: Mother Winslow, guess what? He's half-Nerd, Half-Carl. Laura: Where did you get the money for this? Laura Lee Winslow: I know, but he said 'get lost, Laura'. All these people think the party is tonight. So, is it all right with you? Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: What the heck is wrong with you? Harriette: Yep, they were yelling at each other and bumping bellies. Lady in Strip Club: Shut up and shake your booty! [Notices no one is there anymore] Well, I thought it was a good story. You're a fine man.You'll be spending the month of May in your room, but you're a fine young man. Steve Urkel: Well, what if you trip or something? I was kickin' butt. Ty: Actually I haven't got my wings yet and I play the keyboard. Judy Winslow: Um so Grandma are you gonna be a June bride? Steve Urkel: A little? Harriette Winslow: [gives him a tray of drinks] Here, take these with you. You're acting like animals! Steve Urkel: Your Honor, I would like to call Waldo Faldo! Carl Otis Winslow: Calm down, Harriette, you're overreacting. Steve Urkel: I just called my uncle at the Pentagon. What do you use to get weighed, a postage scale? Anywhere away from my Laura. In Season 1 he was a supporting character and made his first appearance as a background character in Rachel's First Date and had his first major role in "Laura's First Date", however as of Season 2 he was officially considered a main character . We should put those pictures in the school paper. Steve Urkel: Oh no! Join. [looks over to the busted parts of the transformation chamber]. Inside this scrawny chest, there beats a heart. Myrtle Urkel: Frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn. Look, I love you with all my heart, but just because you don't love me back doesn't give you the right to treat me like dirt! Carl will understand. Come here, let me give you some sugar. Carl Otis Winslow: [Has just gotten wind of Eddie's flyer party] Edward! Steven Quincy Urkel: Well, then where am I gonna sleep? [skips away from Stefan and Myra towards the elevator. Steven Quincy Urkel: Don't interrupt me! Waldo: [Monotone while Steve mouths his words with him] Pablo was a kind and gentle creature. steve urkel pick up linesaiken county sc register of deeds steve urkel pick up lines There's lots of reasons why I don't love you. It's a "non-date". And from that day on, EVERYBODY could use that library. Maybe abrasive is the wrong word. Harriette Winslow: She says OGD's a great kid, but he hasn't had it easy in his life. then removes his hand]. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll miss Waldo. Cornelius Eugene Urkel aka OGD: He must've been dangerous. Carl Otis Winslow: You know you were rude to that guy, Harriette. It's not fair. Stefan Urkelle: [Fed up with Carl Urkel annoying him constantly] That's it, go home! Oh! Suppose I made it happen. Can you help me out? Everywhere you look, TV, movies, magazines, all these 90 pound people, smiling, dancing where do they get the strength? Steve Urkel: I bought two tickets to a concert that Laura wants to go to and offered to take her as my, get this, date! Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: Fuffner, I've heard of some low things in my time, but forcing Laura to go to the dance with me is plain dispicable. He's having the same discussion with his father. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: March 10, Went to the market. Laura and Judy, divide up the rest between Barbie doll fans and Lego lovers and get them upstairs too! Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: The librarian, a white man that I'd known all my life, pushed me out into the street and told me never to come back. Waldo, you may go now. Carl enters her room with Eddie, who is struggling to stifle his laughter.]. He's usually knee deep in dead mosquitoes. I tried to help you! Steve Urkel: Edward this stuff's been hawked. I just wish it would all go away, Daddy. Rachel Crawford: Can you make him quack like a duck every time the phone rings? Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: [to Carl] I know you're stubborn as a mule but you don't have to act like a jackass! It is not empty at all. Easy Eddo. this is when Urkel was the funniest, when he was youngest, seasons 1 & 2. Topics Nerd. Having run for nine seasons, Family Matters became the second longest-running non-animated U.S. sitcom with a predominantly African American cast, behind only The Jeffersons (11). [Carl hits the mantel] Carl. [Steve has just fallen off the tree and onto the Coopers' pet Doberman, Damien. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Laura this elixir will improve my coordination, my posture, my vocal intonation, and I might even sprout a chest hair or two. Hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. Steve Urkel: I have a spectacular evening planned! All we had to do was drop some dead guy off at the graveyard. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: [Opens Diary] January 1, We had a wonderful New Years Eve party, except Carl got sick and threw up in the living room. In fact, do you know what it is Harriet? Carl, someone parked their own piece of junk in our driveway. I'm being rejected in my own fantasy. Why would anybody want to kill her? What do you have to say for yourselves? She actually said, "Human Being". Steve Urkel: No, I AM a serious little nerd. Willie Fuffner: [sigh] That's different. It's like wanting to touch a star- you know you'll never reach it but you've just gotta keep trying. It's just for the family Steve stop begging. I'll take this up later with the Lieutenant. And we practiced for six minutes! Laura: [grabbing his arm] Ooh! Carl: Stefan, you gotta help me. Getting you to smile would be like pulling teeth! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: I'll have you know, I'm not in Italy. Steven Quincy Urkel: Come on, yeast! Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: From my stay away fund- every year all my relatives send me money and hope that I won't visit them. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: Yeah, you have to use bleach. My mom's the one who really messed up. Carl Otis Winslow: Or in my case, Hello Rubber Chicken. Steven Quincy "Steve" Urkel: [Unstraps his gloves] Sir, not only have you harrassed and insulted me, but you have sullied the reputation of my lady love. Allison: Well then you better find some new friends, or you better plan to join a different sororiety. No. Let's trot on over there and see what develops. Harriette Winslow: These flowers are not fresh. Where did you get the money for this? Think of the possibilities.". Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: Wait just a minute here, Mr.McClure. Steven 'Steve' Quincy Urkel: It's a tradition in the Urkel family to not consummate the marriage for three months. Willie Fuffner: I'm gonna trash Urkel's locker! Urkel pronouns are the best. Carl: There is a guy on our couch who says I remember him, but I don't remember him. How much do I owe you for parking? Do you have any idea how much you changed him? But, if I'm not, the last two words you'll ever say will be, "A Choo.". Carl Otis Winslow: The guy who wrote The Three Musketeers? [Pulls Steve to other side of room] Steven, last semester I specifically asked you what class you would not be taking this semster and you told me HOME EC! This poker game is important to you and I messed it up by inviting this windbag. Laura: Every time we order another course, you bring your chair closer. [reading] "Mongu! Carl Otis Winslow: [ordering in a coffee shop] Just a bearclaw and a coffee. SUBSCRIBE to get the latest. Why can't we share? Laura Lee Winslow: [reading note] 'If you want black history, go back to Africa'. I'm wearing a Bart Simpson's mug. Estelle 'Mother' Winslow: L means lousy. A spin-off of Perfect Strangers, the series revolves around the Winslow family, a middle-class African American family living in Chicago, Illinois. Laura Lee Winslow: [Yelling at Judy who's trying to shove her plate in front of Eddie dishing food] Can you wait? Judy: Were all of Dad's friends named Darnelle? There's no justification for this behavior! Rachel Crawford: Oh. I mean we've made contributions to this country for over 300 years, but you wouldn't know it looking at most history books, it's not fair. Harriette Winslow: Mother Winslow, take all the toddlers up to your room. Harriette Winslow: Mr. Niedermeyer, the only thing that's gonna go by is you. Stefan Urkelle: It's not just a transformation chamber. I didn't kiss you. Ty: No, he's Eddie's brother. Harriette Winslow: You were gone for three hours.